don't need to live forever, growing old with you is much better
by jellybean96
Summary: She survived again. She made it through. Now it's time for her to actually live.


**Hey babes! Back with a new one for ya! Came up with this idea after reading different theories that people had for how Bellamy and Clarke might finally come together and admit their feelings for one another. So this is my take on that whole situation, after Clarke comes back from being body-snatched (cause we all know she will) and basically there are a lot of feelings going on.**

**Enjoy!**

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Her mind is in chaos. That's the best, and only way, to describe it. She'd fought so hard to get out, to get free, and now she can hardly think straight. It scares her. Everything is a mess inside her mind and she's trying to piece it all together, to remember what's real and what was just concocted inside her head to drive her to madness to the point of giving up. But she never did.

When it all finally stops, it's like she's being slowly surrounded by darkness and then yanked hard out of it, back into the light. It's a shock to her system, to say the least. She lets out a guttural scream at the sudden change.

Little by little, though, everything around her starts to come back into focus, the chaos settling down and her senses returning.

"Clarke? Sweetheart, can you hear me? Clarke?"

She zeroes in on the voice, twisting her head to find her mom's face staring down at her, Jackson standing not too far behind her. "Mom?"

Her mom chokes back a sob and nods. "Yeah, honey, it's me. Do you remember anything that happened?"

"I was…" Her brows furrow together tightly as she tries to rack her brain for anything. "I was...uh…"

"It's okay if you can't remember anything. We had a feeling there'd be some side effects, but we just weren't sure what exactly those would be. It appears that memory blanks may be the biggest side effect. The gap sizes are still to be determined."

She zones out her mom's voice as she talks to Jackson, most likely about her vitals and what they hope to see as she recovers. She doesn't need to hear any of that, she doesn't want to hear any of that. She doesn't know exactly what she wants, but it's definitely not hearing the finer details of everything that's currently wrong with her.

She forces her brain to think back over everything that's transpired, trying to piece together what happened. But it's all jumbled. She can't pick out anything concrete. Her chest constricts at the notion that she may never remember what actually happened to her.

A hand on her shoulder pulls her out of her head and she looks to find her mom standing in front of her, a small hint of a smile on her face. "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

She nods, swallowing. "I'm fine."

"Good. Do you think you can sit up?"

She doesn't answer, instead choosing to work her muscles to pull her head off the metal table and swing her legs around over the side. Her mom is right next to her as she does so.

"Are you up for visitors?" her mom asks her. "Because there's someone that's been really eager to see you."

She nods slowly. "Yeah, that's uh, that's fine."

Her mom doesn't say anything more, simply moves out of her line of sight, revealing a beautiful young brunette girl standing just inside the doorway. Her eyes are puffy and her hands are shaking. She looks more like a kid in that moment than she has in a long time.

"Clarke?"

She lets out a breath, the edges of her lips quirking up. "Madi…"

"Clarke." Madi rushes to her and crushes her in a hug. She quickly and happily reciprocates the hug, breathing in deeply at having her daughter in her arms again. She'd been worried about Madi while she was stuck in her own mind, unable to get out and comfort her daughter when she needed her. But she seems to be doing alright now, and that takes a weight off.

"I'm right here, Madi," she tells her daughter, holding to her tightly.

"You remember me."

Her brows furrow together. "Of course I do." She pulls back to look at her daughter. "How could I forget the little girl who stabbed me in the leg when we met and then ended up being the person I love most in the world?"

Madi lets out a watery laugh and she joins in. "I love you too, Clarke. Your mom said that you might not remember me. That there were problems with your memory and they weren't sure how much you remembered."

"Well, one thing I know for sure is that I will never forget you. Ever."

Madi attacks her in a hug again, holding tightly, her body starting to shake. Her voice is muffled as she speaks, "They told me you were gone, that you weren't coming back."

Her heart aches at the way Madi talks around her near-sobbing. She pulls her daughter in closer. "I know. But I'm here now, okay?" She pulls back just enough to cup Madi's face in her hands and smile softly at her. "I'm right here, okay?"

Madi nods. "I missed you, mom."

Clarke's heart aches again, but in the best way possible. Sure, people refer to her as Madi's mom, and they've both done the same on occasion. But Madi rarely, if ever, actually calls her 'mom'. And she never tried to force her too. They know who they are to each other, and she was never really trying to replace Madi's birth mother.

"I missed you too, Madi. So much."

They hug again and she can hardly believe that she's back here again, back with her daughter and no longer trapped in her own mind. She'd fought so hard and now she's back. It's one of the best feelings in the world.

"How are you feeling?" she asks Madi, pulling away again to really look at her. She wants to remember every little thing about her. "How is your training with Gaia? Is the Dark Commander giving you any more trouble?"

Madi shakes her head. "We can talk about that later. You just got back."

"Madi…"

"Clarke…"

She sighs, relenting. "Fine. We'll talk about it later." She runs a hand over Madi's head and smiles at her. "I'm just glad to be back with you."

"So am I."

Madi gives her one more hug before telling her that she has to go but that she'll be back later to check in on her. She reminds Madi that she's not the parent, and Madi reminds her that she just got back from being trapped in her own mind. Madi wins, clearly.

She watches as Madi leaves through the doors, a smile on her face the whole time. She listens to Madi speak to someone on the other side and then her stomach does somersaults when she sees him stepping into the doorway. The light from outside is shining behind him, obscuring his face from complete view and her mind flashes back to just weeks ago for them when he saved her for the first time in six years.

Her throat constricts and her heart races faster, her eyes welling up with tears. Her hands shake and she swallows thickly. She never thought she would see him again, not like this.

Neither of them says anything, they just stare.

She's vaguely aware of her mom muttering something under her breath and then walking out of the room, leaving her alone with Bellamy.

The door closes and Bellamy moves further into the room, his hands rubbing against the fabric of his jeans and his face contorting as he scrutinizes her.

"Clarke?" His voice is barely above a whisper.

She nods. "Yeah, Bellamy. It's me."

"How-how do I know it actually worked? That it's actually you?"

She frowns at the clear and obvious distress on his face. She'd heard how broken up he was when he thought she was dead the first time around, not having any real closure for six years. She hates that he had to go through all of that pain again.

Sliding off the metal table, she stumbles on her feet, nearly falling face first onto the floor. But she manages to catch herself before she does.

She takes a deep breath before steadying herself and slowly moving toward him. Her heart beats quicker as she gets closer, her palms sweating and her hands shaking.

She stops when she's directly in front of him, mere centimeters separating their bodies. She can practically feel his own heart beating inside his chest.

Looking up into his eyes, the same eyes that took hold of her from day one without her even realizing, she breathes in deeply. "Because I love you, Bellamy." She lets out her breath but continues speaking, knowing she'll lose her nerve if she doesn't say it all now. "I know this probably isn't the best timing, but that seems to be the one thing that is consistently never on our side. I should have said it to you before, but I was scared. I was so scared, Bellamy. But I'm not scared anymore. Not like any of the times before. I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear right now but I—"

Kissing Bellamy is an experience unlike anything she's ever been through before. It's somehow both gentle and rough, the tiniest hints of restraint seeping through all the pent up desire and passion he holds for her.

Watmth races through her body where his hands rest on her cheeks, pulling her as close to him as humanly possible. It spreads quickly, setting her whole body ablaze.

Breaking apart, he rests his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. "That's all I want to hear right now." His hands slide down and around her body, pulling her into a tight hug. His arms encircle the entirety of her back and his face buries in the crook of her neck. "I thought I lost you again. I thought you were gone." His voice breaks and so does her heart.

She wraps her own arms around him, one of her hands drifting up to bury her fingers in his hair, gently scraping at his scalp. "I was never gone," she tells him quietly. "Just locked away inside my own mind. But I got out. I came back. I came back to you, Bellamy." She rests her head against his, her eyes closing slowly. "I'll always come back to you."

He pulls away, his arms still encircling her. "Thinking that I really lost you for good this time, that someone else was out there using your body for their own...it broke me. I didn't...I didn't know how to keep going."

"But you did. That's the important thing. You kept going and now I'm here."

He smiles so softly at her, in a way she's never seen him smile before. "Yeah, you are." He reaches up to gently push some of her hair back behind her ear. "I love you, Clarke," he tells her. His voice lowers to an almost-whispers when he continues. "So much."

"I love you too. But...but what about…?" She trails off, a lump catching in her throat at the thought of the other woman in Bellamy's life.

He shakes his head. "We broke up. Well, she broke up with me. The reason isn't important. Just that you and I love each other and nothing or no one can take that away from us. Not again."

"Bellamy…"

"I'll explain later, I promise. For right now, you need to focus on recovering from whatever Josephine did while she was using your body. Whatever side effects there are, I'll be right here while you deal with them. Anything you need, I'm right here."

She smiles and hugs him tightly again. "Thank you."

He hugs her back just as tightly. "You never need to thank me for wanting to keep you safe."

Leaning back, she rises up on her toes just enough to press her lips to his. It's less rushed this time around, both of them knowing exactly what's happening between them. The excitement of her being back is gone, the calm starting to settle in.

"Finally."

Tearing away from Bellamy, she peers past him to see Madi standing in the doorway with a grin on her face, the young girls' eyes darting between her and Bellamy. There's something about the way she's holding herself now, the way her eyes light up. She noticed it the first time but she can't quite put her finger on it.

"Madi, what are you doing in here?" she asks, taking the smallest step away from Bellamy but keeping one arm around him. Her heart skips when she realizes that he has both arms still wrapped around her from behind.

"I came to check on you," the pre-teen tells her. "Are you and Bellamy actually together now? Like you're dating and everything?"

"We haven't discussed it yet," she tells her daughter.

"I don't know about you, Princess, but I was under the impression that we were very much together now."

She looks up with a smile to see him smiling back down at her. She didn't realize how much she missed him calling her that. What started out as a taunt slowly became a term of endearment for them.

"After everything that's happened, you really want to be with me?" she asks him, her smile faltering, unable to stop the wave of insecurities that slam over her.

He smiles softly at her, that same smile from before. "I thought it was pretty obvious."

She smiles back at him and gives him a small nod. "Okay."

He hugs her tightly from behind, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her jawline as he does so. She can't help the shiver that runs down her spine.

Seconds later she's being engulfed from the front by another tight hug, her daughter's arms wrapping tightly around her as she smiles.

"I'm so happy you guys are together now. I was waiting for this to happen. I just didn't think it'd take so long."

They both laugh at Madi's words, her open arm wrapping around her daughter's frame as she leans back against Bellamy, a smile on her lips the entire time. She lets out a small sigh as her eyes close, content to just stay here like this for a little bit longer.

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**So? What did you think? Let me know in a review down below. I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

**Until next time,  
Jellybean96 out!**


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